A Return to Retail: Sales Associates Reflect on Wellness During the Pandemic
During the pandemic, many people have sought out ‘retail therapy.’ What this familiar term obscures is the experience of the retail workers who become de facto therapists. Made to work in unsafe, unstable conditions, these front-line workers’ mental health was tested more than ever this past year. Illustration by Annabelle Walsh
To all those who love shopping and a quick browse in a store:
Not surprisingly, the last year has been hard for brick and mortar retail. It has been particularly difficult for retail workers who are overlooked and not included in conversations related to the difficulty of service jobs. The retail associates who are there in your favorite mid-tier brands — not your Targets and Guccis, but that middle ground where you buy your jeans or your favorite t-shirt — were not considered essential by governmental standards, but to us they have been an important part in the return to so-called normalcy. When you purchased that new top to wear to your first socially distanced hang (remember how exciting that was?), or went on a self-care comfy spree, these associates were there to help. ‘Retail therapy’ was splashed across articles for the last year, from breaking down what consumers were spending their money on, or joking about the dopamine hit you get from purchasing something new.
There is an untold story of how being of service and being there for customers affected, and still affects, the mental health of those associates. Many retail associates went through a year of feeling undervalued, disposable, and forgotten since they are not considered ‘essential’ but are, in fact, essential to capitalism and the modern understanding of ‘normal.’ Though they are customer-facing, they have not been offered any more protections than those working from home.
““Being an associate is more like being a server (and a therapist, bartender, best friend, marriage counselor, eating disorder therapist).” For some, it is even an outlet for their own mental healthcare. ”
I personally know what it was like because I went through it, as have friends and co-workers of mine. It’s an experience that shaped how all of us understand stores, corporations, and the gaslighting that comes with them. I spent time collecting stories and talking with retail associates about working through the last year and the impact it has had on their mental health. The camaraderie between retail workers is a lot like that in the restaurant industry. Some joke that we bond over shared trauma. As one associate shared, “It’s more like being a server (and a therapist, bartender, best friend, marriage counselor, eating disorder therapist) […]”, and for some it is even an outlet for their own mental healthcare.
We knew something serious was happening before we really knew. Even though I know there were sunny days, I remember the weeks leading up to the store closing as being overcast and dark. The COVID-19 turning point was the day I saw my coworker Juliana outwardly express how the pandemic was affecting her. She texted me early in the morning on March 9th, 2020, telling me that someone at the mall where we worked had tested positive for COVID-19. Reflecting back on this moment, Juliana said,
“The moment that stands firmly in my mind during that time was feeling like I had to choose between my mother’s well-being and my position as a leader in the store. I took my position very seriously and cared a lot about my team. My mother was 73 and living with me at the time and the news broke that someone within the mall we worked in had contracted Covid. I was learning more on the train ride in and I wanted to be there for my team but just the thought that I could possibly bring home a disease that could kill my mother STILL brings tears to my eyes today. […] I’m thankful that my manager understood and I was able to return home that day but in truth, she and other members of the team were at risk with autoimmune diseases and I faced a lot of guilt of ‘what made me so special’ to be able to go home to protect my family.”
She came in to work and then immediately left. No one blamed her for it, but it all became real. The day continued, and despite being worried that we were going to get sick and/or get others sick, we smiled and helped customers find what they were looking for. We swapped “it’s so crazy right now,” pleasantries but were obsessively reading news updates on the store iPads. Days ticked away, and the stress became palpable. Hours for associates and store hours were trimmed down. It went from cutting a few shifts here and there to a management-only schedule, all within the course of a week. It was gut-wrenching to call the associates who are the store’s backbone to tell them that we don’t know how they’ll pay their bills but we have to cut shifts. Juliana shared:“instead of being a leader and erring on the side of humanity and caution, we were put in a position where we had to wait it out and put the dollars before anything else.”
Store management was bearing the brunt of the responsibility, trying to keep everyone safe while worrying about how our team — really our family — was going to pay bills and stay afloat. It was turmoil behind the scenes; directives were changing daily and we were flying blind. A woman came down from corporate, giving us what little information she had. Store traffic plummeted but every day we woke up and went into work. Almost no one was around, and yet the team was still there serving whoever came in. Another former manager, Sara, told me about an interaction she had with a customer two days before the store shut down. A woman came in and was browsing the jewelry and said, “It’s so crazy out, I can’t believe everything that’s happening, it’s pretty scary.” A pretty innocuous statement, but imagine hearing that from someone buying a fully non-essential item in a non-essential store and telling that to someone who is forced to work. Sara wanted to say, “Then why the fuck are you here? Please go home.” But instead, she complimented her choice and rang her up. Who knows if she ever even wore the necklace.
“What would happen if someone tested positive? We were working with such small teams, would we have to close the store? Would we be sent to other stores to cover them if the store had to quarantine? Who is paying for this?”
Public pressure on Instagram helped force the company to close down stores before NY PAUSE. [1] In an act of disobedience, a store director refused to open one of the stores. She went in and locked the door behind her. If the company wasn’t going to support their associates, then she would do what she could to keep everyone safe, at the threat of her job.
We quickly realized how disposable and replaceable we all were. The day before we were placed on furlough we had a district-wide call with management to ask questions and for us to be told that they were there to support us. Everything was going to be ok and we were going to make it through. The next day I received the call. Obviously there were behind-the-scenes talks but even our upper management did not fully know what was happening. Juliana expressed similar thoughts on her experience:
“One result of how everything was handled was the feeling that we weren’t being valued. Statements were made expressing that this wasn’t the case, but at the end of the day, the solidarity was questionable because we all weren’t taking on the same risks and that wasn’t truly acknowledged from the higher ups. Also, by the time that communication of solidarity was filtered throughout all the necessary channels it was landing as inauthentic and too little too late.”
When you make a job your career — working weird hours, never having weekends off, and giving so much every holiday season — the realization that you are not important is hard to swallow. Everyone who works retail makes sacrifices but the sacrifices were proven not to be worth it because we do not matter outside of the financial benefit we offer the company. We were pulled back into the stores to process months of held shipment and to reset the floors. Not everyone was as doom-and-gloom; some were happy to be around people again and to be busy. One day, I lay on the floor of one of the stores joking with a friend about how we’re all socialists now. People were openly expressing how miserable they were, how mad, how unvalued. We felt we were being sent to our deaths for pants. Nothing we did was life-changing or altering; they were just pants. We talked about the protests, about the slow corporate response, and issues we had known about throughout the years. Juliana chose to not return, crafting one of best letters I’ve ever read. She recently shared:
"By the time we were invited back to work, George Floyd’s murder had coincided with the height of the pandemic and protests were flooding the WORLD against racism, police brutality. Protests fighting for the visibility, protection, and value of Black lives. I was literally emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. I couldn’t put words to my emotions or look at my son without tears, let alone fathom going back to work. Then the letter to return to work came with barely an acknowledgement of what Black people were going through. It felt personal but in the worst way, like they were choosing not to see nor value me. So I did what I felt I had to do for me, which was not to return and to voice how I felt.”
The subways were empty, and there was a fear of being near other people. We all had to wonder if we were going to catch COVID-19 commuting to prepare a store to reopen. Despite the camaraderie, an undercurrent of worry shaded every new interaction as more people returned to work. Have they been as careful? Are they going to parties or traveling? Corporate had been working from home for over a year, and many weren’t even in New York City anymore. Those of us on the floor were given a short packet about cleaning and also had to sign a form every day confirming that we did not have any COVID-19 symptoms. But our basic questions couldn’t be answered. What would happen if someone tested positive? We were working with such small teams, would we have to close the store? Would we be sent to other stores to cover them if the store had to quarantine? Who is paying for this? I contacted friends and old co-workers in other states to see if they had any more direction than we did, and they didn’t. They had received the same basic ‘well, we’ll see if it happens and go from there.’ Labor laws differ from state to state so that could have limited the [response] that they wanted to offer. My store director spent hours poring through the state rules and legislation to come up with what we were legally entitled to. Just as we’d closed the store in advance of the directive, we were doing work to keep us safe, since no one else was watching out for us.
As the stores reopened, we were able to see the safety measures that were being put into place. We had a capacity limit, though that was mandated across the city. Masks were mandatory, fitting rooms were closed, and we were to wipe down the register keypads after every customer. We were to use every other register, and had a plexiglass shield separating the customer from the associate. The shields were another signifier of the disconnect between the store level and corporate. Since they did not wrap around, customers stood next to the associates, avoiding the shield all together. Returned clothes were to be held off the floor for at least 24 hours before being placed back on the floor. Customers were supposed to stay six feet away but once you were in an open store you realized how difficult that was going to be.
“Please remember as we return to ‘normal’ that retail employees who are there with a smile to help you have been put through the wringer. ”
The first day the store was open was high-stress. Videos posted online throughout the summer of retail customers fighting mask mandates often resulted in retail workers taking on the brunt of the abuse. You never knew how someone would react to you asking for them to cover their nose or please keep the mask on. Sometimes there was a side eye, sometimes a quick apology. A customer came in that morning and the first thing she said was “I am so happy that you’re open again, I have just been so sad seeing you closed. I walk by almost every day just hoping for you to reopen.” Despite wanting to be anywhere but there, it was expected that we would smile and agree. Yes, we were so happy to be open again, so happy to see everyone and be back at work. We heard comments about how normal it made them feel, how shopping provided them a source of normalcy. All I could do was agree and smile and ask how I could help that day. When customers are used to a level of familiarity with associates, they do not particularly care for the duck-and-weave to maintain six feet. Everything was self-serve and while we hoped our customer would readjust accordingly, it did not always happen. I kept walking backwards to put space between me and a customer, but they kept on coming closer. I ended up sidestepping behind a table so at least there would be three feet.
Please remember as we return to ‘normal’ that retail employees who are there with a smile to help you have been put through the wringer. Communities in New York City were hit hard and many lost people in their lives. Understand that there are privileges that come with being able to shop in stores during a pandemic and being able to choose when you want to go outside.
There is no question that we need to reconsider how mental health is treated in the retail industry. When your shifts have already been cut down to eight hours a week, how can you call into work and say, “I can’t get out of bed and definitely can’t help anyone today?” Mental healthcare is expensive and most store associates are not able to receive insurance from the retailer. You have to be full-time to be eligible and it’s a known practice to keep associates under the full-time threshold so as not to have this added cost. The pandemic has laid bare the need for accessible healthcare outside of employment. Associates should not have their healthcare and livelihood tied to the whims of a capitalist system, nor should they have to endure the stress of not being able to pay rent. No one deserves that and we need to be better. I’ll conclude with another message from Juliana, who put it best:
“At the end of the day mental health in ALL work spaces is an issue that needs to be addressed. It requires difficult conversations and sometimes uprooting the way a company or industry runs. Raising the standard is challenging but doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t happen. We have to acknowledge that mental wellbeing and physical wellbeing are equally important and connected. How can we create a culture in retail that allows people the room and resources to make the decisions they feel are best for them so that they can continue valuing themselves and their health?”
Notes
1. NY PAUSE is the shorthand for New York on PAUSE. Governor Andrew Cuomo signed the executive order on March 20, 2020, setting forth the plans and policies to keep New Yorkers safe with the sharp increase in COVID-19 cases. All non-essential businesses were to close by 8pm on March 22, 2020, with restrictions on inner-state and city travel, a ban on any in-person gatherings, and the implementation of 6-foot social distance regulation.
